Margaret J. Wheatley: "All change, even large and powerful change, begins when a few people start talking with one another about something they care about."

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Effects of Abandonment

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      It is so unfair to ask children to bear the effects of being abandoned by a parent.  They are innocent in every way when it comes to the relationship between parent and child and it is beyond cruel to make them feel any responsibility for the demise of the situation.

     When a parent abandons a child, there are lasting consequences for the child.  Even babies have a fear of being left alone or not tended to.  It only makes sense that as they grow those fears grow.  This article explains many of the effects of abandonment.  If you are the responsible parent reading this, the article isn't really telling you anything you don't already know.  We are not only left with the physical and financial responsibilities, but the emotional as well.  Sometimes the physical and financial feel like a piece of cake compared to the emotional issues.

     I work very hard at facing head on any effects and anxieties that come with abandonment.  My dad, grandfather, brother, and brother in law go above and beyond making sure my kids have a father figure.  Sometimes, a mom just can't do what a dad can and for that I am so grateful for the men in my family.  It isn't always men who are the ones abandoning their children.  Sometimes dads get left with trying to fill a mom's role and their are times kids need a mother figure.  I didn't truly understand the quote, "It takes a village to raise a child" but I sure get it now.  I am so thankful to the teachers, coaches, and parents of my kids' friends for being there for them.

     This blog is truly about the children.  However, it is very exhausting physically and emotionally sometimes for the present parent.  We work not over time, not even double time, but sometimes triple and quadruple over time to make sure our kids have what they need in every aspect.  The love and respect we get back is priceless, but it doesn't excuse the other parent's irresponsibility. 

     What is your story?  How do you cope with being an only parent? 

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