Margaret J. Wheatley: "All change, even large and powerful change, begins when a few people start talking with one another about something they care about."

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Confusing Laws

     In the news, there is a story about a mom who has been banned from having more children for 13 years.  After abandoning 4 children in a hotel she was faced with a jail sentence or give up her right to have more children for 13 years.

     I don't think anyone who has seen this has any sympathy for her.  Most will agree you cannot leave children in a hotel room to go partying.  It is definitely seen as "negligent" behavior.  It is a pretty clear example of neglect.  Completely understandable that she should face consequences for her actions.

     There is also a story about a case in Kansas asking a sperm donor to pay child support because, based on a technicality, a doctor wasn't involved.  I don't agree with this one at all.  There was a an agreement and he donated so a lesbian couple could have a child.  He didn't get one of them pregnant and hit the highway.  This isn't what I consider abandonment or an obligation.  Maybe I am wrong in thinking that, but someone had to help them have a child and now that they have fell on hard times they repay him by asking him to be financially responsible.

     Our laws are confusing and there are always so many sides to many different situations.  However, it just seems simple to me in cases that when two people have a child together whether planned or not there is an obligation from both of them. The child didn't ask to be here and it is a responsibility for both parents to take care of that child.  It doesn't matter what is going on in their adult situation, the child has no fault there either and deserves to be taken care in every way.

     I know there are always stories in the news that complicate parental obligation and who should do what, but it is clear, to me, that purposely erasing yourself from a child you are half responsible for should never be an option.

What do you think?


  1. I totally agree with you in both cases, however I think the media is sensationalizing the latter (shocker, I know!). For the vast majority of couples who have children, child support is figured out "fairly"... at least, as fairly as that sort of thing can be figured out. I'm no lawyer, but I can't imagine that case having any ground.

  2. You are right. I can't see it either especially since things like time and visitation are factors in how support is figured. The worksheets are fair since a lot of things are taken into account. The only problem with mine is my ex is self employed and of course he didn't show true amounts. I know it can't always be completely fair, but I sure have experienced and seen some crazy things with irresponsible parents getting away with things! My ex also gets credited time spent with them and since he hasn't spent time with them in almost 5years that isn't fair either. I honestly would have thought someone had lost their mind if they told me all of these things I have experienced. I wouldn't have believed it without going through it.